I turned 40 in July. And now I have all of these things swirling in my mind. But the main thing is, Does life truly begin at 40?
For me, I was a young mother, giving birth to Cadence at 23 and Nathan at 26, so I spent most of my 20’s and 30’s with young children. But now at 40 my kids are getting older and will be 17 and 14 this year. So I feel like I am gaining a bit of freedom. But with new found freedom comes lessons to learn. And those lessons can be kind of harsh.
This year I have learned that things in your body start to change when you hit middle age. Wait…did I just call myself middle aged? When did this happen? Ok, let’s focus Steph. So, I have found that things are hurting differently all of the sudden. My knees don’t always want to work, my back basically hurts all of the time and let’s not even mention the fact that my eyesight is getting worse. I’m sure none of these are directly related to turning exactly 40, but they are related to getting older, whatever that age may be. I find it harder to get off the couch and walk up the stairs. But that could also be because I am holding on to too much weight, but that’s a whole column in itself, so I won’t get into that now.
I feel like once the clock struck midnight on July 24th and I turned 40 that I also found new wrinkles on my face and gray hair. I used to dye my hair all the time when I was younger. But now I am just embracing the gray and letting it take charge. It’s really weird how these things just happen overnight, but that’s the price you pay for living life so we should all just embrace it.
I have learned that as I get older I don’t want to leave my house as much as I used to. My home is my happy place. I want to just sit on my comfy couch with all of my dogs and cat, eat too much sugar and watch Love Island all day. I don’t want to run all of the errands I used to run all the time. I don’t want to go to all of the appointments I have, I don’t want to shop for my own groceries. I do, but I don’t want to and now that I am older I am learning to say no more.
Now I know I said I want to stay home more in my last paragraph but going in the completely opposite direction, I also want to travel more. Because I was so busy raising babies in my 20’s and 30’s Leif and I didn’t have the time or the money to travel like we would have liked. Now that they are older and we have some more freedom I would like to explore more places and travel. Our 20th Wedding Anniversary is in April of 2025. Send me some suggestions on where we should go to celebrate.
I also feel like I value friendships more now. I remember when I was a teenager I wanted as many friends as possible. Now I am content with my small circle. I value the time and the energy that it takes to nurture and grow a friendship and I am not going to give that time and energy to just anyone. I will be picky now that I am 40, I don’t have time for drama and games. As a wise person once said, “Ain’t nobody got time for that!” lol.
Turning 40 has not been all fun and games though. Last year in August I lost one of my best friends who was 40 years old. So I have also been struggling with the guilt and the fear of the unknown of turning 40 and her not being here to live life with me anymore. I guess that is another thing that comes with getting older, everyone else gets older too and the circle of life happens. But I will tell you, it sucks and I am still struggling to accept things. But I know she wouldn’t want me to dwell on things and she would want me to accept my 40’s and to live life.
After all of the lessons I have learned so far I will tell you that I still haven’t figured out if life truly begins at 40 or not. I will tell you that I feel good for the most part. I am excited for the new adventures my kids will have now that they are getting older and the freedom I will gain as they leave the nest. But I am also a little worried that I have wasted so many good years worrying about money and time and filling my schedule up too much and not enjoying every minute I have left.
So, here’s to turning 40! May it bring happy changes and love and laughter. And hopefully soon I will be able to answer the question, Does life truly begin at 40?
Steph Hightree is a hot mess mom who is fueled by stress and too much caffeine. She is a Three Rivers native who talks about the good, the bad, and well, everything else about parenthood.
Any views or opinions expressed in “#MomLife” are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the Watershed Voice staff or its board of directors.
