#MomLife: Graduation, now what?

It seems like every time I write a column I am explaining why I have been MIA and this one is no different. This past school year has been a whirlwind of emotions and I haven’t been able to articulate them into a column. But the time that I have been writing about for years and trying to prepare for has finally come. Cadence is graduating high school and Leif and I are now preparing for the transition to the next stage of our lives. 

I remember Cadence’s first day of Kindergarten. I dropped her off and she cried and cried for basically the whole day at school. This went on for a couple of weeks. Every day I would drop her off and she would cry the whole day until I picked her up. Her teacher even tried to get me to move her to Young 5’s at one point thinking she wasn’t ready for all day kindergarten yet.

Knowing what I know about Cadence I knew she was ready, so I just gave it some time and eventually she stopped crying. That was when it all started, I started to prepare for all of the school transitions we would have in the next 13 years. Elementary school flew by and next thing I knew we were at 5th Grade graduation. That was when I realized the transitions were not going to be easy. 

The move to middle school terrified me. Not only was she moving to a whole new school with more students and more responsibilities, we were also in the middle of the “tweenager” stage. Cadence survived 6th grade and went to 7th, then COVID hit, putting so many unknowns into the mix. But she made it through 7th and 8th grade navigating the new normal of masks, social distancing, and online school, and was now ready to move onto high school. 

I swear the move to high school was just yesterday. I can still picture freshman orientation and getting frustrated with her because she wanted to go around the school with her friends and not map out her classes like I wanted her to do. But ultimately she made it through, even though there were many times I didn’t think either of us would make it out alive. Sophomore and junior year came and went, and I was suddenly the parent of a senior.

Senior year hits differently. The school year is packed full of “lasts.” Last first day of school. Last Homecoming. Last school dance. Last musical. Last choir concert. Last time all of your friends will be together at lunch. Last time you might see some of the people who have helped shape you and grow with you over the last 13 years. Last day of school. 

I have spent most of this school year telling myself that I am not sad, that I am happy to see Cadence’s next journey in life, and that this is a natural part of moving on and growing up. But I would be lying to you and myself if I didn’t admit that I am sad. But it is possible to be both sad and happy at the same time. 

I have enjoyed spending as much time with Cadence as I could this school year, and soaking up every second. But I also know when she becomes an adult (in approximately 100 days, but who is counting?) that our relationship will evolve into something new and exciting. 

Graduation is interesting. We are saying we have done all we can to prepare our children for the real world and then sending them to mark their own path. But have we really done all we can? I find myself second guessing things but I know deep down Cadence is ready for college and to start a new chapter in her life.

I know she is going to make new memories, new friends, become more independent, and not need me as much. But I also know I will still need her. I will still need her to come home once in a while and watch crappy reality TV with me, and gossip about the latest tea. I still need her to know she can come to her dad or I anytime she needs some advice or the inevitable request for gas or coffee money. 

This time in my life is not at all how I pictured it. I am stressed, excited, tired but most of all hopeful. I know it is going to be a tricky transition for all of us. Going from living at home to living on her own. Going from having two kids at home to only one. Going from seeing each other everyday to weekly. Going from needing me to living independently. I know it will be a culture shock for the both of us in the beginning but I also know it is going to be alright. We will make it through this transition just as we made it through all of the others in the last 17 years. 

I hope all of the seniors reading this have already answered the question of “Now what?”, but if you haven’t, I don’t want you to stress. There is still time. And remember Cadence, just because you are becoming a Roadrunner in the fall, you will always be a Wildcat. I trust you will use the tools that you have learned along the way to help you with the next life transitions you have coming up.  

Congratulations Class of 2025! 

Steph Hightree is a hot mess mom who is fueled by stress and too much caffeine. She is a Three Rivers native who talks about the good, the bad, and well, everything else about parenthood.

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Any views or opinions expressed in “#MomLife” are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the Watershed Voice staff or its board of directors.